SoCal is a giant time capsule.
Arcade Coffee on Chicago Ave. North Campus – Highlander Apartment on Iowa Avenue.
I set foot inside Highlander again after almost 4 years. Like “before the coffee gets cold”, I zoomed back in time front of unit 3206. I walked out through the end of the hallway and as if Holy Father is guiding me as He has always been .
Nov 2023 – I captured HW 60 and 71 from Pomona vantage point.
Aug 2026 – I drove through that same vantage point but I was going toward Pomona – away from Riverside. The book of “us” is truly ending.
Did I pass by Pho Pasteur and GW market in Rosemead where we once were?
Nov 2023 – I found Hacienda Heights – where I wandered into Peter Shchaburum park at the corner of Fulllerton/Coloma in Oct 2023. I found the little nail/eyelash boutique tucked away inside a small plaza along Colima where Jolie was and I was waiting for her. I was holding on to the semi-functional Mamiya 645 camera as I was trying to hold on to our relationship and our marriage.
August 2026 – I found the exact same bench in the park – where i once seated while holding on to Hope.
I came back not to feel the pains but, perhaps, to reclaim my peace, to acknowledge my efforts , and most of all to feel grateful for whatever happened Has it not happened, I would not repent and come back to God. Perhaps, I feel the urge to visit these places so that I can rewrite the emotional history? Unresolved feelings.
November 2023
Jolie and I visited SoCal and stayed for 1 week during Thanksgiving, and we came back to Hacienda Heights again. Little Skewer was too crowded. We ended up eating dinner at a Dim Sum place nearby. “You then abandoned me to uber to a karaoke place with Jessie. I understand you were trying to keep things in order. I told with a smile that “em cứ đi đi , anh ngồi đây ăn, đợi người ta mang hết ra rồi anh sẽ toggo. em cứ lấy xe đi đi, roi anh sẽ uber lên”. em đừng lo. “
You left me in the middle of diner. I then walked almost 2 miles while carrying the togo boxes with me. I remembered talking to myself, empty minded, heavy heart. Was I angry? I think I was. “How could you do this to me?” I understood your pain, while feeling mine simultaneously. Perhaps, subconsciously, I knew that “we” were heading to a crossroad for both of us.
August 2026
I found all of these places again. I step inside the restaurant to find where we once seated. Had it been almost 3 years ago? Similar to “before the coffee gets cold”, I zoomed back through time. I saw “us”. I saw myself in pain. Of course, I saw you were in pain too. 3 years later – I still feel it. I was able to trace my walking route to Diamond Plaza and the karaoke place.
You are far away now, and we are far apart.
Nov 2023
I walked my way from Fullerton/Colima to Diamond Plaza and SparkTV karaoke to join you and Jessie. I remembered it was late. The plaza was mostly closed.
“why am i here. what is going on in our life” I remembered.
Aug 2026
I traced my memories and I found the place again. The same staircases where my steps were heavy as was my heart.
Why am I back here?
reclaim my peace
witness my own, old version that fought until the end moments. witness the forgiving and the depth of sorrow i gathered
I found my way to Brea mall again. we stayed in a hotel during one of your get-away trips. We walked through the mall in late 2023. 3 years later – I came back to gather these memories into the time capsule.
Toward the end of “us” during late 2023, I recalled trying to instill positivity into “us”. I was by your side the whole time.
The whole socal is full of time capsules for Jolie and me for Quan and me
— South Shore Apartment – The Alameda – is perhaps the last few pages from the book of “us”.
I came by a few weeks after Cupcake passed away. I walked by unit 902 again. I remembered seeing Peachy Butter and Mochi gathering up in the patio, which is now empty. The folded ladder is still there – frozen in its position. I was there fixing the patio’s leakage and securing the cat net for our 3 cats. The Pink Princess plant 🪴 is there too! It is no longer alive. Perhaps you truly shred off this “identity” and let go. You loved that plant the most . I drove you to pick it up in downtown San jose in Oct 2022 perhaps. Our plants are all gone except the last of the patio plant is still with me. You sold the other. I stood there by the hallway. In front of me, there was a time portal.
July 23 2026 – in our 3rd anniversary
I rearranged the living room completely. Deep inside my mind, as deeply tucked away in the storage unit, was “us”. The Christmas tree, a piece of my bed on which you drew in July 2024, all of the letters I had ever wrote to you, your golf bag.
I went to Riverside again.
As I am transitioning to the new book, what do I want to bring it with me.